Retired parents refuse daughter's demands to monitor their financial state, instead they spend all their savings on traveling, daughter declares: ‘I will not support you if you run out of money’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 10, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

If there's one thing I am happy about my upbringing, it's that I had two parents with a degree in economics, who made a point to teach me how to be financially responsible ever since I was about 10.

I'm serious, when I was 10, my parent first started giving me allowance, 5$ every week, and they made a deal with me – if it's something you need, we'll buy if for you, but if it's something you want, you will have to save up your allowance and buy it yourself. This mentality taught me to think twice before I spend my money, and carefully plan my future according to my budget. And that is the mentality I carried with me to my adult life. 

Even better than knowing that I've got my financial state covered, what's more reassuring is knowing that my parents are set too. I don't have to worry about taking care of them once they retire, because I know for sure they've got it covered.

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  • The parents in the story below, on the other hand, are in a bit more trouble.

    Even though they spend most of their retirement traveling and spending money, they don't really know what's going on in their retirement plan. When their daughter found that out, she tried to convince them to talk to a financial advisor, but they strongly refused, claiming they would rather ‘live now, worry later’.

    Well, it seems like the daughter is not interested in helping them out when later comes, keep scrolling to read her reaction.

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    Cheezburger Image 10476848128
    via gradyreese

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    "WIBTA If I refuse to support my mom if her retirement savings run out?"

    My mother (now 71) retired early around the age of 54. Since then, she's been traveling the world almost non-stop with my stepfather (83 M); there have been
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    several years where they've been traveling more than they've been at home. All along, I was lead to believe they could afford this lifestyle, and that they had
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    more money than I was aware of (maybe they did really well in the stock market, maybe my stepfather had more than I realized, maybe their
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    was the last time you met with your advisor?" That's when the bombshell dropped: my mom and stepfather have NEVER been to a financial advisor! They
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    haven't even looked into the cost of things like in-house care (what my mom insists upon when she can no longer care for herself), assisted living, or any other
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    expenses that come with aging. They also have significantly less money in the bank than I expected, and refuse to invest in the stock market. My mom's
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    attitude regarding finances has apparently always been, "live now, worry later." Considering how many times she's questioned me on my spending, I'm now feeling extremely upset that all
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    along I've been doing the "right" thing by going to an advisor to ensure I can afford my lifestyle/save for retirement, while she's been off partying around the world!
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    Anyways, we got into an argument this morning where I begged her to stop traveling and at least talk with an advisor. She got ped and told me not to worry about her finances.
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    She also doubled down and said, "if I don't have enough money, that's too bad. I won't invest in stocks or anything else that's risky, so there's nothing an advisor can do."
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    Now I'm seriously considering following her advice and not worrying about her finances. If she runs out of money before she ds, that's her own fault and I shouldn't have to
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    struggle to support her and the bad financial decisions she's made. WIBTA if I stuck with this mentality?
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    C C C C C C C C C C C C C + RETIREMENT PLAN FRACTION MODE x In ON at 133 hyp Hin Cos tar 7 B D " C AC + 6 B 40 2 7
    via c-George

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 15
    OrdinaryEmergency342 No you would not be. However I would suggest that you make your mother aware that you are not prepared to be her back up plan so it doesn't come as a surprise to her when she can't move into your place and mooch off you. NTA
    via OrdinaryEmergency342
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    Quiet-Hamster6509 "I understand yoir point of view, but I only state this because I know I won't be able to afford to assist you with housing, care or finances if required. " YWNBTA
    via Quiet-Hamster6509
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    PurpleCatBlues OP Unfortunately, she knows I'm currently in a pretty good situation where I could help her if she needed it. For example, last year, I gave my late husband's parents $36k to help them buy house when they moved across the country to our state. I have no doubt at some point my
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    mom will bring that up and feel entitled to at least that amount because "it's only fair" (never mind that money came from my late husband's life insurance and was something he specifically asked me to give his parents after he passed).
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    SafeWord9999 I would kindly inform her NOW while she's being stubborn, that if she ends up broke you're not in a financial position to catch her amd it's troubling you. That you'll go to the
    via SafeWord9999
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    financial planner with her and maybe just ask questions, no commitment necessary. You're doing this with the intention of care.
    via SafeWord9999
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    PurpleCatBlues OP She's about to go off on a two week cruise, so I'll wait until she gets back to try talking with her again. As it is, my sister might be the best person to handle this situation since she and mom have always had a better relationship.
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    brideofgibbs NTA But you should check your state for filial piety laws.
    via brideofgibbs
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    PurpleCatBlues OP I actually checked my state laws (Florida) earlier today and found out I won't be on the hook if my mom becomes insolvent.
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    UltimateAsk516 I know more than a few people who lost all their money because they had it invested with a "financial advisor" who stole it all, so,,, beware.
    via UltimateAsk516
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    PurpleCatBlues OP Talking with an advisor doesn't mean they have to invest in the stock market. It means looking at what she has, her income (pension and SS), any retirement accounts I may not know about, and mapping out their future. That's literally all I'm asking her to do. I'll even pay for the consultation if that's what it takes.
    via PurpleCatBlues
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    OrdinaryEmergency342 No you would not be. However I would suggest that you make your mother aware that you are not prepared to be her back up plan so it doesn't come as a surprise to her when she can't move into your place and mooch off you. NTA
    via OrdinaryEmergency342
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    TheWorldTurnsAround Definitely make sure your mom and stepdad know they will not be living with you if they run out of money. That is unless you would like them to.
    via TheWorldTurnsAround
  • 28
    Ok Strawberry_197 Her choices. There are senior buildings that will charge older adults a percentage of their income, essentially public housing. That may be their option when they are older. Not your choices, not your problem. YWNBTA
    via Ok_Strawberry_197

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family drama aita kids mother siblings reddit story parenting family sister retirement Reddit money women parents children Father vacation
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